gf: Come over
me: i can’t i’m skiing
gf: I have dog treats
wtf is he supposed to be beating his meat
The Great Pyramids of Giza, as you’ve never seen them before — at the edge of a sprawling metropolis and the vast desert.
take some bacon and i’ll put it in a pancake
YAAAAAAS BITCH 🚶
That’s a metaphor, son! You missed it! It flew right by ya!
shit blog but her tagged/me got me like
maybe the best vine ever
During sex she said “deeper” so I rolled over and started reading her poetry